#6 HOW WILL YOU KNOW IF IT’S THE RIGHT DECISION, IF YOU NEVER MAKE IT

So four days ago, I went and saw my surgeon for the first time since the operation. Nervous, um quite an understatement in this situation. Ill start off on a good note though, my knee is feeling great. Cant really say its looking great though, still a little swollen but that’s totally normal I’ve been told. The stitches came out today too, so that was kind of a relief. I feel like I’m free now and I can finally begin my comeback. Anyway, my surgeon gave me the photos of the inside of my knee, kinda gross sorry about that, but I no longer have a medial meniscus in my left knee. For those who don’t know what that is, well a meniscus is the cartilage between the joints in your knee, it provides a cushioning between your thigh bone (femur) and shin bone (tibia). Usually, they can repair most meniscal tears, in my case they weren’t able to and because the tear was so bad, I had to have the whole cartilage removed for good. Ohhh the things I would do to have a normal knee again.

This all came with a catch though. The idea of me playing basketball again seemed to really concern my surgeon and didn’t seem like something I should even consider if I wanted to have a healthy knee again. At this point I was having second thoughts about the operation I had just had, was it the right decision? Maybe if I didn’t have it and just continued putting up with the constant pain, I wouldn’t be having this conversation about “what’s next” with my surgeon. When I had my first reconstruction I was told, “You’re young, you should heal pretty quickly.” So I thought maybe i’ll be right with some time. My surgeon said whatever comes next is completely up to you,whether you play again or not is your choice and at the end of the day you’re in charge of the choices you make but make sure you are prepared for the consequences that may follow. I no longer have the stability in my left knee to fully support me, the percentage of re-injury has gone up by about 22%, and I have a high risk of developing chronic arthritis within the next 10-15, so by the time I’m 30, which could also lead to needing a full knee replacement.

I already know what it feels like to give up, cause I did and to any of you who have had the same feeling it’s not a nice feeling to have, I can assure you. Injuries are apart of sport, an inescapable part. I don’t have special attention 24/7, ensuring that I’m doing everything right. I have to go out there and work for it myself, everyday of the week. I don’t have time to make excuses or feel sorry for myself because if I do, I’m going to live a life full of suffering.  I probably see my physio once every 4 weeks, if that. In that time, I’m forced to do things that take me out of my comfort zone so that hopefully when I go back to my physio, I have improved. I am willing to put myself through almost anything, whether that is temporary pain or discomfort. As long as I experience it, I prove that I have the power to do anything. I have always been interested in what’s to come and the only path to the “unknown” is through breaking barriers, an often-painful process. If you had of asked me months ago about playing basketball again, I’m sure the answer would of been “ahhh hell no” hahah but I can tell you now that there is no way I’m going to let statistics or the textbooks or anyone tell me what I should and shouldn’t do. No one is going to stop me.

 

“No matter who you are, no matter what you do, or what you are told, you absolutely, do have the power to change you life. Your mind will quit 100 times before your body does, so you need suck it up and do it anyway, even if it hurts.”

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